Here Have a Carrot!

But don't get too excited..you're back to waiting again! 

I know that you have jumped through hoop after hoop for months, but you need to wait. Wait for their right arm to connect to their left arm..you could be waiting a while. There isn't a time limit. Sorry about that, but I am smiling apologetically, does that help? 

No.

'I'm spinning around, move out of my way..' I feel like Worzel Gummidge. Though I am not sure if my head can spin anymore. I'm trying to concentrate on one thing but there is always someone tapping on the other side of my head, trying to get in. Tapping, tapping away..I keep saying ''don't knock. I don't live here..well not permanently, anyway''. But the tapping will not let up. ''When will you have a home''? I DO NOT KNOW! That's it. That's done it. Phew! It's calm again.. Until five minutes later anyway..this time it's louder! Tap tap tap...tAP! Ok, here goes..

Check email regarding our home application...no reply.

Email extra information..no reply

wife emails extra information..no reply..

Someone I hardly know calls to let off steam, without asking how I am. I kind of imagine that their stress is further away from my ears than it is, and I ask how they are besides this. They promise to call in a couple of hours for a catchup.. four hours later, no catch up, but I guess they feel they've lightened their load?

Tap, tap tap tAPPPPP! 

Checks. Blank email. Wait, what does it say? Ah yes, ''welcome to Limbo Land''. Welcome?? I've been staying here for over three months. Surely you know that? But apparently it's temporary?...

Cup o'tea and slice of cake, Aunt Sally?

Love a Real Northern Hermia x

Getty Images. Mike Lawn

Montenegro Calling!

And, no, this isn't about Eurovision! 

From time to time..ok who (whom sounds too up it's self) am I kidding? Let's just say, regularly. Yep, that's it. I regularly have such random dreams... many are like film sets, though last night's was more like a comedy sketch! 

One of my close friends had gone to Montenegro by himself. I didn't know this until another close friend of mine, went too and also didn't tell me. I only found out after seeing photos, on her socials, of her floating in the sea in a large inflatable. 

I managed to get a cheap flight, and flew over there, by which time, my male close friend had flown home but my female friend had stayed (she is renowned for delaying her flights back when she is away...mind you, I don't blame her!). I joined her and we had such random times..including her saying, ''It's a pity so and so is married'' ( a lovely colleague). I was shocked and replied, ''Oh my God. I didn't know you fancied him!''. Her, ''Oh no. I just fancy a snog''! See, random!

On our return journey on the bus to the airport, another friend of mine was on his way home after also being in Montenegro! It's strange as neither he or my female friend a tan. It was me that was really bronzed! Hilarious for those who know me and refer to me as Casper (at least it's a friendly ghost. Could be worse!). 

The following week, I was stood outside The Lowry Theatre in Salford and Jack P Shepherd (yes, David in Corrie) came running out to greet me. He had a part time job there but had just returned from, yep you guessed it, Montenegro! His tan was dark..but then I saw it! A gooey patch at the top of his leg. It looked like treacle, but it smelt like gravy! You could actually peel it off!

A friend of mine says that it means that what is on the surface isn't real so to be aware when meeting new people. And that the people I know and love are genuine no matter what their outward persona... 

But I am choosing to believe that Montenegro is calling! 

Greetings wherever you are are,

A Real Northern Hermia x

Weird People Rock!

Dance it, dance it... 'Cause you're free

To do what you want to do

You've got to live your life

Do what you want to do

'Cause you're free...' If I sing it loud enough, will it suddenly be true?  

The other day, I shared a meme (I know, I know...) which said. "I have two moods. 1. Constant panic and worrying about every detail. 2. It is what it is". It made me chuckle. At that moment I had gone from completely stressing to "oh whatever"! The quote was from a page called 'Weird People Rock'. Is that relevant? Anyway, my head is racing round and round like a big Catherine Wheel on Bonfire Night. 

Since our landlady caused such an unstable living environment by not only increasing our rent hugely, but also by being unwilling to negotiate with us as anything less wasn't "tenable" (I know), I feel like I'm becoming more weird, (by society's standards) each day. This usually extroverted woman is becoming a little more introverted with each passing day. The fighting just to get what we should have, just to get some sort of home, the injustice of it, packing boxes with no idea of where they will be unpacked, is enough to throw anyone off balance..and when you add to that the shock illness and death of my Mother in Law, plus a father in law who is in and out of hospital and the fact that our landlady is unfairly, but legally by all accounts, expecting us the pay the extra rent for the time we have left (even though she has served us a Section 21 because we couldn't afford the huge increase) it's surely enough to make anyone want to run away..fast!?! 

As I sit in the early evening sun, and watch both teenagers and adults alike jumping into the quays (the canal), I can't help thinking that I've always prided myself on knowing myself quite well, and for the most part, liking myself too. I've always told those younger than me that once you get your twenties out of the way that you'll feel more comfortable in your own skin. Then, bang! Is this a passing thing? Will my brain suddenly reattach to the rest of me or will I be out at sea, sitting there, bobbing about on the rough British waters in the winter...or longer? 

People ok, friends, my wife, they often ask where my head is at when I start to chat and tell them my thoughts and concerns. Apparently they can be random to them, but to me, they make perfect sense! I was also saying to someone the other day that perhaps those of us who are neurodiverse are actually typical and those who are "neuro-typical" are the neurodiverse ones? One in seven people in the UK are said to be neurodiverse. That's quite high. Maybe we are the "normal" ones? Who decided what is typical in society and what isn't typical? Maybe it was some white middle aged wealthy man who said, "I'm great, be more like me. If you aren't like me, you aren't normal!" Whatever normal is and means, anyway! Why am I wondering if I'm more weird than usual? I mean, weird people Rock, don't they? Don't they? 

Until next time... Bobbing along

bobbing along on the bottom (top)

of the beautiful briny sea...

Love a Real Northern Hermia x

It's One Big Trip, Maaaaan!

I’m so physically exhausted with house sorting ready to move that you would have thought that my brain would be too exhausted to dream, but no!

Last night’s dream involved puppies (a sandy coloured female and two black and white, in case you are interested) and a round light which looked like my ring light, but wasn’t, flashing every time the house phone rang. Asda had taken over from EE and the Wi-Fi signal boosters were no longer going to be offered but customers still had to pay the same rate. Anyway, I digress.  I seemed to be living at my parent’s (family home) but not as I know it, and spent a lot of time in the bathroom cleaning the tiny puppies. Apparently I was working as some kind of dog sitter. My current partner was with me helping to clean them. Although she seemed to think that Timotei shampoo was appropriate?? Ha ha (in reality she is a huge dog lover by the way so would never do this). I seemed to be my adult self, but my adult brother had reverted to his teenage self and had a knack for walking into the bathroom without knocking. Apparently, Mum had gone out to a union meeting and now some aliens had invaded the picket line! I mean seriously, where does my brain go?!

Is it just me or have people become moanier lately? Or maybe I am being moany myself, moaning about them being moany?! Honestly, people trying to help those who may need it, and others outside of the equation, moaning. Well as one of my favourite roles, Lisa, in Up the Bunting, would say, ‘’let it go. Let it go’’!

As I type this, for some reason I have the song, ‘’Happy’’, spinning around my mind. I haven’t listened to it or heard it for a long time. Physically, you’ll still find me under packing boxes, but as for my brain, I couldn’t tell you!

Until next time!

Love,

A Real Northern Hermia. x

P.S. Just in case you were wondering, yes, I did make that gluten free fried chicken! :) 

Here is my gluten free fried chicken! :) 

How my dream seemed!