Here Have a Carrot!

But don't get too excited..you're back to waiting again! 

I know that you have jumped through hoop after hoop for months, but you need to wait. Wait for their right arm to connect to their left arm..you could be waiting a while. There isn't a time limit. Sorry about that, but I am smiling apologetically, does that help? 

No.

'I'm spinning around, move out of my way..' I feel like Worzel Gummidge. Though I am not sure if my head can spin anymore. I'm trying to concentrate on one thing but there is always someone tapping on the other side of my head, trying to get in. Tapping, tapping away..I keep saying ''don't knock. I don't live here..well not permanently, anyway''. But the tapping will not let up. ''When will you have a home''? I DO NOT KNOW! That's it. That's done it. Phew! It's calm again.. Until five minutes later anyway..this time it's louder! Tap tap tap...tAP! Ok, here goes..

Check email regarding our home application...no reply.

Email extra information..no reply

wife emails extra information..no reply..

Someone I hardly know calls to let off steam, without asking how I am. I kind of imagine that their stress is further away from my ears than it is, and I ask how they are besides this. They promise to call in a couple of hours for a catchup.. four hours later, no catch up, but I guess they feel they've lightened their load?

Tap, tap tap tAPPPPP! 

Checks. Blank email. Wait, what does it say? Ah yes, ''welcome to Limbo Land''. Welcome?? I've been staying here for over three months. Surely you know that? But apparently it's temporary?...

Cup o'tea and slice of cake, Aunt Sally?

Love a Real Northern Hermia x

Getty Images. Mike Lawn

Wake Me Up Before You Go Go

...Was the cry as we spent the third or fourth solid 12 hour day packing and transporting our stuff to the new house we are renting. I was literally swaying back and forth, side to side. We had had about 4 hours sleep for goodness knows how many consecutive nights running. No time to eat. Being in the kitchen with boxes towering over me while my other half transported things from other parts of the house, was definitely overwhelming. I could not move to pack more even if I tried.  I escaped upstairs and, yep you guessed it, packed something else! We grabbed whatever snack we could. The previous week, I only sat to eat my tea. It was all work, work, work, pack pack pack, audition, pack etc. This week, even this so-called Duracell Bunny is dead on her feet! I would say, ‘if I didn’t see another box in my life it would be too soon’, but I can’t because we are still absolutely surrounded by stuff. Please let me fall into a ‘Midsummer Night’s Dream’ and someone wake me up when it’s done! Ha ha. In other news, I’m off to the theatre tonight. Yep, an actual IN PERSON LIVE play! It’s been so long since us thesps have been allowed ‘’home’’.

Till next time,

A Real Northern Hermia x

A Midsummer Letch!

 A few days back I thought that I would pop for a breather among the grass and trees. Just soak in a bit of peace among the chaos of moving house. I was looking forward to listening to the birds (the feathered kind by the way) in the sunshine. Could I do that? No. Enter Mr Letch. ‘’Hello darling. Hello? Hello? Are you here to see me?’’, Letchy repeated over and over. I nearly left the little park, but then I thought, no, why should I? I opened my mouth and asked him to leave me alone. I do get absolutely sick of letchy men! And before some of you say, ‘not every man’, of course not every man but in normal pre pandemic times, there hasn’t been a day when I haven’t endured, letchy harassment and my female identifying friends say the same. I cannot remember a time that I haven’t experienced anxiety while walking home after dark, wherever I was living at the time. We, as women, were and are preconditioned to almost accept that we are not safe walking around alone, from being young girls and teenagers. I don’t know a single woman who doesn’t hold their keys in their knuckles while walking home in the evening. Even at 4pm in winter! We are over half of the population, and yet this has and is allowed to continue.

I have been kerb crawled, followed, surrounded by groups of men while walking to my bus stop at 5pm, had my boobs grabbed by randoms who just think that it is their right. I have been sexually assaulted by someone in a position of power when I was 20. I have even been beaten up and left with a broken nose because I wasn’t interested in accepting a man’s advances. A man who I would find sitting on my bed in the shared house that I was living in at the time. A man who would just walk into my room, a man who would not stop trying to touch me wherever in the house we happened to be. The latter did go to court, and I found out from someone else that a colleague of his had ripped this man’s beard off because they were sick of his lecherous ways towards their female colleagues. I have to admit to being slightly pleased about that news. Violence isn’t right, but this man had been getting away with horrendous behaviour for too long. I was 22.  And this is just a short list of what I have experienced. Anyway, I digress. Why was this allowed to happen in the first place? Why are we as a society allowing this to continue?

So there you have it. A serious blog from me this time. Hope you won’t bee too disappointed that I haven’t written in my usual tongue in cheek style!  Right, I am off to get some quotes from removal companies, and yes, I am still surrounded by boxes. How is it that two women without children, have so much stuff?!

Until next time,

A Real Northern Hermia x

Dizzy Lizzy Lets Get Busy!

How’s your week going?

We are only half way through,
and so far I have spent 12 hours going to and from West Kirby- thanks to Northern Rail and the Metro. I mean you can travel to Hong Kong in less time! What a gorgeous place though. Fell totally in love and it’s always a pleasure to visit Kate for a headshot session. On my travels, I wished for sun, and sun we were granted! Now let’s hope that marks the end of ‘Mayvember’!

I have also fallen flat onto my face while trying to open the bedroom window, almost on my bum while getting dressed doh, and... I can’t remember if I told you, but a couple of months ago, I reprised my training to be a real life Celebrant and last night marked the penultimate session which is really exciting! It is basically art meets life in my case. Ha. It will be my absolute pleasure to work with families and give them the funeral service that they want. So if anyone out there would like me to perform their service- funerals, baby naming, memorials, family services etc, you know where to come!

 A good few years back, My Dad mentioned that I would be a good Celebrant. I loved the idea and then forgot as I got busy again in the acting world. Then I was cast in Corrie in a recurring role as Hazel, the Celebrant, and my Dad’s idea popped back into my head. I have performed baby naming, weddings and a ‘comedy’ funeral so far. I love my Corrie family, but then Corona revealed her ugly head and it meant that large scenes weren’t possible for filming. I have really missed going in and working with friends.

Right, I need to get back to my juggling balls now- play reading, script writing, project prepping, baby dinosaurs... Etc. And if you can’t find me I will be under a pile of packing boxes! House moving is imminent….

See you soon!

Love,

A Real Northern Hermia x

Hectic Fever Diva!

 
Well we are still unsure as to where and when we are moving to, and I can confirm that the grass definitely isn’t greener in ‘limbo land’!

Oh, by the way, I am no longer ‘’just’’ an actor, presenter and voice-over artist, but I am a hair colourist too. Ha ha. I have wanted a balayage for a long time and spoke to my hairdresser about it. I booked a date to have my new headshots taken (more about that in a bit), but my hairdresser is now away for a while, so I took a deep breath and taking matters into my own hands, within a few hours, I had transformed my hair. I didn’t have a clue what I was doing, but after researching, I think that I managed to ‘paint’ (this is how the technique is described) my hair quite well. I’ll pop a photo lower down.

Have you watched the Davina McCall documentary called Sex, Myths and the Menopause? It’s about time that women’s health was thrust into the spotlight. I don’t know about you, but I know of so many people who have suffered after being brushed off by doctors, told that they have to go private if they want to be referred to a specialist clinic (you do NOT ..It even says this under the NICE guidelines, along with not giving out anti-depressants to treat peri and menopause symptoms as a first resort). I’ve always said that if these side effects were experienced by cis-gendered men, there would be a cure at every petrol station! I’m not at that point yet, but I always keep an eye on such things as friends are struggling and also, forewarned is forearmed as they say. However, I feel like my hormones have always ruled my life (and have been fobbed off and told it’s ‘women’s problems’, growing up). This leads me on to hectic fever diva!

As I was saying before, I booked to have my new set of actor headshots taken next week. The reason for it being next week is because this should be before we need to pack and move house, and also it should have been the week or so after my period. However, I am already a week late (before you ask, there hasn’t been an immaculate pregnancy), and last week, I was so exhausted, sickly and dizzy. Hormones are now causing hectic fever (hot and cold), hot flushes, and I am very emotional (I’d probably cry at a walkers’s crisps ad right now), cranky and worn out. Once it starts, my skin goes grey, acne thinks it’s my best mate, and my hair tends to look like it belongs on one of those long sticks at the fair (no, cheeky, not a scarecrow. Then again, maybe I could be the new Worzel Gummidge…). Still, at least I know what my new ‘casting type’ will be! Now where are all those roles for a tired, cranky, emotional, irrational, candy floss woman? Hit me up!

That’s it for now!

Love,

A Real Northern Hermia x

P.S Here is a photo of my balayage.

It's Oh So Glamorous daaaahlings!

Life is a rollercoaster just gotta ride it..yep you read correctly, I did just quote Ronan Keating!

I am halfway through a busy week…in fact I just had 45 minutes notice to film an audition and upload! Thank goodness it was for a bit of a rough and ready type of character and my unwashed hair added to it..I was able to pile it on top of my head and wear an old jumper to add to the skankiness! I just radiated glamour (scroll down for pic)!

I have been exhausted for the last week or so. I’m sure it is because we are still looking for somewhere to live, but we didn’t get locked inside any more houses though so that’s a plus! On top of this, I have been juggling various jobs, reading scripts and chasing someone who should have paid me a couple of weeks ago. Oh and finally, after 6 months, I got my hair cut!

I had my Covid jab just over a week ago and I haven’t grown a third arm! I did have trouble walking and standing from three hours after and woke in the early hours with incredible back pain. I was so sore that I couldn’t lie down. Remember to add your experiences to the ‘yellow card’. You just scan the link on the leaflet they give you.

A good few weeks back I picked up my celebrant training, so in a few weeks I shall be running free with it. Definitely a case of art emulating life, isn’t it!

The podcast that I mentioned in my first blog went out a few days ago. Listening to other women recounting their experiences of being abused by someone in a position of power, made me feel a bit numb. I knew someone who had experienced exactly the same things, even if I hadn’t myself. It’s a hard listen but I do believe an important one. It’s on The 98% website, if you can manage it. This leads me on to last week’s Corrie. If you didn’t see the episodes based around Sophie Lancaster, do catch up. Amazing writing by Ian Kershaw (Kersh), excellent acting and direction from all involved. Showing how people are targeted for looking ‘’different’’.

Lastly, remember those baby dinosaurs I mentioned last week? I have a meeting about them this week. See, I told you, it is oh so glamourous daaaahlings!

Right, I’m off. Two jobs done and I’m off to the studio now.

See you soon!

A Real Northern Hermia x

Hustle Bustle, Duracell Bunny!

'Every day I'm hustling.. (insert music) ' Yes, this is me, the Duracell Bunny, a nickname given to me by one of my best friends because, in more normal times, I run around doing a million and one things, attending countless events on top of work, while making time for friends and family. Last week I had the taste of my ‘’old life’’ back again. A crazily busy week and it was brilliant. Albeit tiring! Usually I can cope with the hustle, bustle and the juggling. Last week by Saturday, I felt like one of the zombies in Shaun of the Dead. I think it’s the trying to move house which tipped my balance. We’d seen 6 places on the Wednesday and on the Saturday, we saw another three, then I had to go to the chemist and then we’d arranged to see some friends. I felt like I was falling asleep in my seat. Our friends are not boring, may I add, but I guess that this pandemic has sucked some of my Duracell energy out of me. I need to become a rechargeable pack!  BUT that must be the light flickering at the end of the tunnel now. Surely?! I can hear it saying..well, it's more of a whisper but it's definitely there, ‘come on, we can do it..we are almost there’!

It’s midweek. And not just any old Wednesday, today has started off very interesting…in most jobs, if you got asked to engage people while making dinosaur noises, you’d probably laugh and think it was a joke.. Ha ha. But an actor says, ‘Oh yes, sounds great. Where, when and how much is the budget?’
Hashtag An actor’s life!

Have a good week!

Love,

A Real Northern Hermia! x

Spin That Hamster Wheel!

 And…The Hamster Wheel Keeps Spinning!

Thank you to those of you who have started following and reading my blog..this is only my second post and since I have published my first, I have become not just busy, but crazy busy! This Real Northern Hermia is not just juggling work and projects but also wasps nests and moving house! Or trying to anyway! The Hamster wheel does indeed keep spinning, and you know how it is, or if not you can imagine how it is, when you have little legs!

In the space of a week, we found our dream flat, we thought, jumped through hoops with references, ID, selfie photo verifications on this app and that app..all on the busiest day EVER, I hasten to add- two different jobs, test driving a car and I was back in a particular studio for the first time in over a year, but anyway, after all of that and getting references in, the following day we were told that our initial offer had been cancelled as the current tenant had decided to stay, so, deflated we were back on that hamster wheel! And how it spins!! Yesterday, we saw 6 different flats/houses and none of them screamed ‘’this is your new home’’..in fact two of them screamed, ‘’get out fast’’ not that we were able to as we actually got locked inside. Yep, you did read that correctly, LOCKED IN! So there was us..well, me, needing a leg up to get over the back gate. Like a farcical game of cops and robbers!

Now, I must follow the link for the Covid vaccine..for the umpteenth time to see whether I'm still being told to go all the way to Darwen or whether I will be allowed to utilise one of the MANY vaccination centres in Manchester…you know, where I live! #jumpsbackonthewheel..until next time!

Love,

A Real Northern Hermia x