Do the Limbo Dance!

‘Limbo cool, limbo fine

Ev’rybody gets a chance

Clap your hands it’s party time

Do the limbo dance’.

Yeah, thanks, David!

Have you ever had to hold yourself in a fixed position? An awkward position for too long and found yourself stuck? I’m not counting when we were all bendy kids, but as an adult I mean? It hurts, doesn’t it?! You can’t just jump upright. You can’t focus, you have a permanent headache, you can’t eat or drink. And you feel ‘’ready for the knackers yard’’, as our Elsie used to say! And yet when those fingers snap, we have to be ready to do a full on tap dance down the street with our heads in tact firing on all cylinders. 

Growing up, I was told to ''Be realistic''. In fact I remember the career woman who came into high school: ''What do you want to do for a career?'' Me, ''I want to act''. Her, ''You're from Preston, be realistic. What do you really want to do?'' Me, ''I just told you. I want to act''! She wasn't alone. In my experience it was usually people who, perhaps, came from a more affluent background didn't (and still don't in my experience) want us (the majority) to aspire to our goals. They (not the teachers, but those in power) want us to be their yes people. They don't want us to be able to question their motives or their answers.

But when you ''slap'' them in the face with their realistic realism, they certainly do not know what has hit them! We do. Its strength and determination. We know how to survive when the going gets tough...  ''When the going gets tough, the tough get ready''...The tough, does indeed, get going!

For any of the nay sayers who tell you that you can't follow your dreams, turn Billy up. Sing it loud and sing it proud: ''I'm gonna put this dream in motion, never let nothing stand in my way..!'' 

Love,

A Real Northern Hermia x

                                            image by: Tntisland dot com

Here Have a Carrot!

But don't get too excited..you're back to waiting again! 

I know that you have jumped through hoop after hoop for months, but you need to wait. Wait for their right arm to connect to their left arm..you could be waiting a while. There isn't a time limit. Sorry about that, but I am smiling apologetically, does that help? 

No.

'I'm spinning around, move out of my way..' I feel like Worzel Gummidge. Though I am not sure if my head can spin anymore. I'm trying to concentrate on one thing but there is always someone tapping on the other side of my head, trying to get in. Tapping, tapping away..I keep saying ''don't knock. I don't live here..well not permanently, anyway''. But the tapping will not let up. ''When will you have a home''? I DO NOT KNOW! That's it. That's done it. Phew! It's calm again.. Until five minutes later anyway..this time it's louder! Tap tap tap...tAP! Ok, here goes..

Check email regarding our home application...no reply.

Email extra information..no reply

wife emails extra information..no reply..

Someone I hardly know calls to let off steam, without asking how I am. I kind of imagine that their stress is further away from my ears than it is, and I ask how they are besides this. They promise to call in a couple of hours for a catchup.. four hours later, no catch up, but I guess they feel they've lightened their load?

Tap, tap tap tAPPPPP! 

Checks. Blank email. Wait, what does it say? Ah yes, ''welcome to Limbo Land''. Welcome?? I've been staying here for over three months. Surely you know that? But apparently it's temporary?...

Cup o'tea and slice of cake, Aunt Sally?

Love a Real Northern Hermia x

Getty Images. Mike Lawn

Montenegro Calling!

And, no, this isn't about Eurovision! 

From time to time..ok who (whom sounds too up it's self) am I kidding? Let's just say, regularly. Yep, that's it. I regularly have such random dreams... many are like film sets, though last night's was more like a comedy sketch! 

One of my close friends had gone to Montenegro by himself. I didn't know this until another close friend of mine, went too and also didn't tell me. I only found out after seeing photos, on her socials, of her floating in the sea in a large inflatable. 

I managed to get a cheap flight, and flew over there, by which time, my male close friend had flown home but my female friend had stayed (she is renowned for delaying her flights back when she is away...mind you, I don't blame her!). I joined her and we had such random times..including her saying, ''It's a pity so and so is married'' ( a lovely colleague). I was shocked and replied, ''Oh my God. I didn't know you fancied him!''. Her, ''Oh no. I just fancy a snog''! See, random!

On our return journey on the bus to the airport, another friend of mine was on his way home after also being in Montenegro! It's strange as neither he or my female friend a tan. It was me that was really bronzed! Hilarious for those who know me and refer to me as Casper (at least it's a friendly ghost. Could be worse!). 

The following week, I was stood outside The Lowry Theatre in Salford and Jack P Shepherd (yes, David in Corrie) came running out to greet me. He had a part time job there but had just returned from, yep you guessed it, Montenegro! His tan was dark..but then I saw it! A gooey patch at the top of his leg. It looked like treacle, but it smelt like gravy! You could actually peel it off!

A friend of mine says that it means that what is on the surface isn't real so to be aware when meeting new people. And that the people I know and love are genuine no matter what their outward persona... 

But I am choosing to believe that Montenegro is calling! 

Greetings wherever you are are,

A Real Northern Hermia x

Weird People Rock!

Dance it, dance it... 'Cause you're free

To do what you want to do

You've got to live your life

Do what you want to do

'Cause you're free...' If I sing it loud enough, will it suddenly be true?  

The other day, I shared a meme (I know, I know...) which said. "I have two moods. 1. Constant panic and worrying about every detail. 2. It is what it is". It made me chuckle. At that moment I had gone from completely stressing to "oh whatever"! The quote was from a page called 'Weird People Rock'. Is that relevant? Anyway, my head is racing round and round like a big Catherine Wheel on Bonfire Night. 

Since our landlady caused such an unstable living environment by not only increasing our rent hugely, but also by being unwilling to negotiate with us as anything less wasn't "tenable" (I know), I feel like I'm becoming more weird, (by society's standards) each day. This usually extroverted woman is becoming a little more introverted with each passing day. The fighting just to get what we should have, just to get some sort of home, the injustice of it, packing boxes with no idea of where they will be unpacked, is enough to throw anyone off balance..and when you add to that the shock illness and death of my Mother in Law, plus a father in law who is in and out of hospital and the fact that our landlady is unfairly, but legally by all accounts, expecting us the pay the extra rent for the time we have left (even though she has served us a Section 21 because we couldn't afford the huge increase) it's surely enough to make anyone want to run away..fast!?! 

As I sit in the early evening sun, and watch both teenagers and adults alike jumping into the quays (the canal), I can't help thinking that I've always prided myself on knowing myself quite well, and for the most part, liking myself too. I've always told those younger than me that once you get your twenties out of the way that you'll feel more comfortable in your own skin. Then, bang! Is this a passing thing? Will my brain suddenly reattach to the rest of me or will I be out at sea, sitting there, bobbing about on the rough British waters in the winter...or longer? 

People ok, friends, my wife, they often ask where my head is at when I start to chat and tell them my thoughts and concerns. Apparently they can be random to them, but to me, they make perfect sense! I was also saying to someone the other day that perhaps those of us who are neurodiverse are actually typical and those who are "neuro-typical" are the neurodiverse ones? One in seven people in the UK are said to be neurodiverse. That's quite high. Maybe we are the "normal" ones? Who decided what is typical in society and what isn't typical? Maybe it was some white middle aged wealthy man who said, "I'm great, be more like me. If you aren't like me, you aren't normal!" Whatever normal is and means, anyway! Why am I wondering if I'm more weird than usual? I mean, weird people Rock, don't they? Don't they? 

Until next time... Bobbing along

bobbing along on the bottom (top)

of the beautiful briny sea...

Love a Real Northern Hermia x

''Two Ladies, a Dog and a Cat in a Van''

Apparently, rocking is a sign of madness...

I am certainly overwhelmed! I am agitated and scared. And I cannot for the life of me remember even simple words half of the time, so if I stare at you for a while before replying, it isn't because you have a huge zit on your nose (I mean, you may do...moooooooollllllllllllllleeee), but because I am working hard to make the cogs turn.

What has happened to me? Instability, that's what. Like thousands and thousands of others, our rent was increased hugely and our landlady didn't want to understand, even though she admitted that we have been great tenants, and replied to us with ''anything less (than the extra) isn't tenable''. Tenable?? What the heck is that? Does she spend her time watching game shows? Tenable?? 😕 Now, I understand that mortgages are going up but I am willing to bet my favourite old cuddle teddy that she does not have a mortgage. If she does, that is because she has remortgaged to buy other properties (she owns several).

I have never been a fan of greed. Society has for a long while thought it acceptable to make a profit out of necessities. It has always made me sick to the stomach. But you know, when people are down, they are easier to control by the establishment. Anyway, I digress. Our landlady served two great tenants (her words) a Section 21 which gives us two months (6 weeks now) to leave. Rental properties in the wider area, due to a housing shortage, are way beyond our affordability so; we went to our local council. 

If you have never been to a housing department before you will find that due to the system that the officers have to follow, things like the dentist and petrol (to and from caring responsibilities) aren't deemed necessary. Initially we weren't even able to bid on social housing but a Section 21 means that we are at risk of homelessness. 

Housing associations upload their available properties to the council home site at random intervals, but I have yet to see more than six available properties on there, and out of those, only one maximum two that we are eligible for. And for another matter, most are without any photos (even of the outside) and have very little information. One property didn't even have a street name in the description! 

In my opinion, council housing officers do their best and are actually lovely, but when there are barely any houses, what are they to do? At least you feel like you are human there. One particular staff member remembers everyone's names when they arrive and leave. She must see hundreds a day. I am impressed, but it is a thankless task- seeing lots of distraught people each day. I have seen people with suitcases piled up in front of them- scenes which have been reminiscent of a modern ''Cathy Come Home''- a wonderful film by Ken Loach (if you haven't seen it). 

So as I type, I am surrounded by boxes with no idea where I will be taking them and where we will be laying our heads, come the beginning of October. The system has no regard for peoples' wellbeing.  We have to wait it out, bidding on properties we can't get due to being in prevention and not full blown homelessness yet, and then when we leave we go into what is called 'relief'. Will we be a priority then? You'd think so, but no...Not for at least 50 odd days. So we need to stay with a friend (none of our friends have the room), go into emergency accommodation, or sleep in the car...yep this is the situation which many nice, working (I add this in case you fall victim to believing that poorer people are lazy) reliable people are finding themselves in. Maybe Maggie Smith's Miss Shepherd, had the right idea, but rather than ''The Lady in the van'', it will be 'Two Ladies, a Dog and a Cat in a Van''!

That's all from Limbo Land for now. 

Sending love to everyone out there!

Love,

A Real Northern Hermia x

 

And, it's GOLD!

Getting naked, running the shower, dashing to the boiler to reboot it 6 times and then sprinting back to grab the two minutes of hot water it is kind enough to offer, is definitely an Olympic sport! Put it this way, I would have won GB at least 10 medals by now! I think my patience is medal-worthy too, the amount of times I have waited in, only for the British Gas engineer not to turn up. No message, no call..nothing. I will stick my neck out and say that if anyone other than work people was so unreliable, they would never work!

My sister got a puppy last week as her two youngest have begged her for two years. He is so cute and he fits into a mug (see below)! Cue the broodiness!

Right off I go to write the script for a weekly show before treading the boards and being back in rehearsal in person..yep, that’s right, IN PERSON! But before I go, it's a photo finish...aaaand it's GOLD for our Hermia!

Until next time!

Love A Real Northern Hermia x

Livin' La Vida Loca..

Come on..living la..’ Well, that’s how the last 18 months or so have felt, haven’t they?! Hopefully more normality will ensue. It needs to happen!

Apologies for the lack of blog last week. It was crazy. Away for a day or so, and then back LIVE in front of an actual IN THE FLESH audience. What a dream it was to be back on the stage and working with creative friends and colleagues once again!

So, I have gone from auditioning in smart tops while wearing my knickers (and, no, they aren’t on show,cheeky) to wearing my thicker pj bottoms, listening to the roar of the thunder while I type. It has gone from 30 degrees a few days ago, to 12 degrees now! Madness.

I had a break from work and house sorting this weekend as I went to see my parents. It was the first time I’d seen them since March which is far too long. Madam Corona has outstayed her welcome by at least 17 months..yep, yep, I know it’s been 18 months, but I’d had enough in month one! The walls were meant for climbing, weren’t they?! ;)

Ta-ta for now,

Love,

A Real Northern Hermia! x

Hello Hayley, I'm Hayley!

Yep, this is me, meeting myself coming backwards. Everything is like buses at the moment. No rest for the wicked, but I’m not complaining…yet!

A Real Northern Hermia juggling writing, other work, line learning, social things (yay, the world is opening up!), and house sorting! Mind you, my Nanna always said that me chasing my tail would keep me out of trouble. Her words, ‘’ Be careful. If you think, your mind may explode!’’ She was a cheeky one. Very strong and independent. A lady of many talents and she was super intelligent too. I just know that had she been born into my generation instead of hers, she would have had a big career! You should have seen her doing arithmetic in her 90s! I was always in awe. Maths isn’t my thing! She could even do DIY. At 4 foot 11, we used to find her balanced on one leg painting the ceiling (when she was younger) and balanced on a stool at the age of 92, taking her net curtains down as she decided that they needed a wash. She even used to sit with her legs bent to her side on the couch like a 93 year old teenager! Something I have inherited from her…no, I’m not 93, but I sit like that even in bed! My other half thinks that my body is strange and bendy! Mind you, the chiro did tell me that my right leg is shorter than my left…he showed me a photo he had taken too! So perhaps, I am 5 foot 2 but only on my left side…and 5 foot on my right! So maybe she is right..my body is strange…and perhaps lopsided? Ha ha.

Until next time,

 
A Real Northern Hermia x

It's One Big Trip, Maaaaan!

I’m so physically exhausted with house sorting ready to move that you would have thought that my brain would be too exhausted to dream, but no!

Last night’s dream involved puppies (a sandy coloured female and two black and white, in case you are interested) and a round light which looked like my ring light, but wasn’t, flashing every time the house phone rang. Asda had taken over from EE and the Wi-Fi signal boosters were no longer going to be offered but customers still had to pay the same rate. Anyway, I digress.  I seemed to be living at my parent’s (family home) but not as I know it, and spent a lot of time in the bathroom cleaning the tiny puppies. Apparently I was working as some kind of dog sitter. My current partner was with me helping to clean them. Although she seemed to think that Timotei shampoo was appropriate?? Ha ha (in reality she is a huge dog lover by the way so would never do this). I seemed to be my adult self, but my adult brother had reverted to his teenage self and had a knack for walking into the bathroom without knocking. Apparently, Mum had gone out to a union meeting and now some aliens had invaded the picket line! I mean seriously, where does my brain go?!

Is it just me or have people become moanier lately? Or maybe I am being moany myself, moaning about them being moany?! Honestly, people trying to help those who may need it, and others outside of the equation, moaning. Well as one of my favourite roles, Lisa, in Up the Bunting, would say, ‘’let it go. Let it go’’!

As I type this, for some reason I have the song, ‘’Happy’’, spinning around my mind. I haven’t listened to it or heard it for a long time. Physically, you’ll still find me under packing boxes, but as for my brain, I couldn’t tell you!

Until next time!

Love,

A Real Northern Hermia. x

P.S. Just in case you were wondering, yes, I did make that gluten free fried chicken! :) 

Here is my gluten free fried chicken! :) 

How my dream seemed!

Halo by Name, Halo by Nature!

And if you believe that, you’ll believe anything!

I have got it into my head to make gluten free style Southern Fried Chicken. Mainly because my partner is obsessed with a certain high street takeaway and because I cannot eat it due to being (sadly) gluten free!

Let me explain. We have been watching a lot of Canadian series set on horse ranches and they always seem to be eating butter milk fried chicken. Then yesterday, we spent the day sorting their hoarding hoard as I call it, and in all of the clutter was an unused ‘Halo Health Fryer’.. Unsure whether it works, but I tested the electrics and its all go! So, guess what we will be eating tonight for tea? And yes, my readers, it is tea. I am The Real Northern Hermia so it is therefore: breakfast, dinner, tea, supper!

As I type this, we have thankfully said goodbye to Mayvember and hello to June! Finally we are able to socialise a little more and for the first time in 18 months, I saw my eldest niece a few days ago! It was brilliant. Surrounded by friends, she came with my sister and my younger niece and nephew to see me at a picnic! It was absolutely brilliant! Family time at last! They say that you learn something new every day, and as I paddled with my nine year old nephew, I learnt all the countries from the smallest to the largest across the world, the population sizes too!

Right, I must go to speak to the baby dinosaurs now!

Have a sunny week!

Love, a Real Northern Hermia! x