Do the Limbo Dance!

‘Limbo cool, limbo fine

Ev’rybody gets a chance

Clap your hands it’s party time

Do the limbo dance’.

Yeah, thanks, David!

Have you ever had to hold yourself in a fixed position? An awkward position for too long and found yourself stuck? I’m not counting when we were all bendy kids, but as an adult I mean? It hurts, doesn’t it?! You can’t just jump upright. You can’t focus, you have a permanent headache, you can’t eat or drink. And you feel ‘’ready for the knackers yard’’, as our Elsie used to say! And yet when those fingers snap, we have to be ready to do a full on tap dance down the street with our heads in tact firing on all cylinders. 

Growing up, I was told to ''Be realistic''. In fact I remember the career woman who came into high school: ''What do you want to do for a career?'' Me, ''I want to act''. Her, ''You're from Preston, be realistic. What do you really want to do?'' Me, ''I just told you. I want to act''! She wasn't alone. In my experience it was usually people who, perhaps, came from a more affluent background didn't (and still don't in my experience) want us (the majority) to aspire to our goals. They (not the teachers, but those in power) want us to be their yes people. They don't want us to be able to question their motives or their answers.

But when you ''slap'' them in the face with their realistic realism, they certainly do not know what has hit them! We do. Its strength and determination. We know how to survive when the going gets tough...  ''When the going gets tough, the tough get ready''...The tough, does indeed, get going!

For any of the nay sayers who tell you that you can't follow your dreams, turn Billy up. Sing it loud and sing it proud: ''I'm gonna put this dream in motion, never let nothing stand in my way..!'' 

Love,

A Real Northern Hermia x

                                            image by: Tntisland dot com

Here Have a Carrot!

But don't get too excited..you're back to waiting again! 

I know that you have jumped through hoop after hoop for months, but you need to wait. Wait for their right arm to connect to their left arm..you could be waiting a while. There isn't a time limit. Sorry about that, but I am smiling apologetically, does that help? 

No.

'I'm spinning around, move out of my way..' I feel like Worzel Gummidge. Though I am not sure if my head can spin anymore. I'm trying to concentrate on one thing but there is always someone tapping on the other side of my head, trying to get in. Tapping, tapping away..I keep saying ''don't knock. I don't live here..well not permanently, anyway''. But the tapping will not let up. ''When will you have a home''? I DO NOT KNOW! That's it. That's done it. Phew! It's calm again.. Until five minutes later anyway..this time it's louder! Tap tap tap...tAP! Ok, here goes..

Check email regarding our home application...no reply.

Email extra information..no reply

wife emails extra information..no reply..

Someone I hardly know calls to let off steam, without asking how I am. I kind of imagine that their stress is further away from my ears than it is, and I ask how they are besides this. They promise to call in a couple of hours for a catchup.. four hours later, no catch up, but I guess they feel they've lightened their load?

Tap, tap tap tAPPPPP! 

Checks. Blank email. Wait, what does it say? Ah yes, ''welcome to Limbo Land''. Welcome?? I've been staying here for over three months. Surely you know that? But apparently it's temporary?...

Cup o'tea and slice of cake, Aunt Sally?

Love a Real Northern Hermia x

Getty Images. Mike Lawn

Weird People Rock!

Dance it, dance it... 'Cause you're free

To do what you want to do

You've got to live your life

Do what you want to do

'Cause you're free...' If I sing it loud enough, will it suddenly be true?  

The other day, I shared a meme (I know, I know...) which said. "I have two moods. 1. Constant panic and worrying about every detail. 2. It is what it is". It made me chuckle. At that moment I had gone from completely stressing to "oh whatever"! The quote was from a page called 'Weird People Rock'. Is that relevant? Anyway, my head is racing round and round like a big Catherine Wheel on Bonfire Night. 

Since our landlady caused such an unstable living environment by not only increasing our rent hugely, but also by being unwilling to negotiate with us as anything less wasn't "tenable" (I know), I feel like I'm becoming more weird, (by society's standards) each day. This usually extroverted woman is becoming a little more introverted with each passing day. The fighting just to get what we should have, just to get some sort of home, the injustice of it, packing boxes with no idea of where they will be unpacked, is enough to throw anyone off balance..and when you add to that the shock illness and death of my Mother in Law, plus a father in law who is in and out of hospital and the fact that our landlady is unfairly, but legally by all accounts, expecting us the pay the extra rent for the time we have left (even though she has served us a Section 21 because we couldn't afford the huge increase) it's surely enough to make anyone want to run away..fast!?! 

As I sit in the early evening sun, and watch both teenagers and adults alike jumping into the quays (the canal), I can't help thinking that I've always prided myself on knowing myself quite well, and for the most part, liking myself too. I've always told those younger than me that once you get your twenties out of the way that you'll feel more comfortable in your own skin. Then, bang! Is this a passing thing? Will my brain suddenly reattach to the rest of me or will I be out at sea, sitting there, bobbing about on the rough British waters in the winter...or longer? 

People ok, friends, my wife, they often ask where my head is at when I start to chat and tell them my thoughts and concerns. Apparently they can be random to them, but to me, they make perfect sense! I was also saying to someone the other day that perhaps those of us who are neurodiverse are actually typical and those who are "neuro-typical" are the neurodiverse ones? One in seven people in the UK are said to be neurodiverse. That's quite high. Maybe we are the "normal" ones? Who decided what is typical in society and what isn't typical? Maybe it was some white middle aged wealthy man who said, "I'm great, be more like me. If you aren't like me, you aren't normal!" Whatever normal is and means, anyway! Why am I wondering if I'm more weird than usual? I mean, weird people Rock, don't they? Don't they? 

Until next time... Bobbing along

bobbing along on the bottom (top)

of the beautiful briny sea...

Love a Real Northern Hermia x

''Two Ladies, a Dog and a Cat in a Van''

Apparently, rocking is a sign of madness...

I am certainly overwhelmed! I am agitated and scared. And I cannot for the life of me remember even simple words half of the time, so if I stare at you for a while before replying, it isn't because you have a huge zit on your nose (I mean, you may do...moooooooollllllllllllllleeee), but because I am working hard to make the cogs turn.

What has happened to me? Instability, that's what. Like thousands and thousands of others, our rent was increased hugely and our landlady didn't want to understand, even though she admitted that we have been great tenants, and replied to us with ''anything less (than the extra) isn't tenable''. Tenable?? What the heck is that? Does she spend her time watching game shows? Tenable?? 😕 Now, I understand that mortgages are going up but I am willing to bet my favourite old cuddle teddy that she does not have a mortgage. If she does, that is because she has remortgaged to buy other properties (she owns several).

I have never been a fan of greed. Society has for a long while thought it acceptable to make a profit out of necessities. It has always made me sick to the stomach. But you know, when people are down, they are easier to control by the establishment. Anyway, I digress. Our landlady served two great tenants (her words) a Section 21 which gives us two months (6 weeks now) to leave. Rental properties in the wider area, due to a housing shortage, are way beyond our affordability so; we went to our local council. 

If you have never been to a housing department before you will find that due to the system that the officers have to follow, things like the dentist and petrol (to and from caring responsibilities) aren't deemed necessary. Initially we weren't even able to bid on social housing but a Section 21 means that we are at risk of homelessness. 

Housing associations upload their available properties to the council home site at random intervals, but I have yet to see more than six available properties on there, and out of those, only one maximum two that we are eligible for. And for another matter, most are without any photos (even of the outside) and have very little information. One property didn't even have a street name in the description! 

In my opinion, council housing officers do their best and are actually lovely, but when there are barely any houses, what are they to do? At least you feel like you are human there. One particular staff member remembers everyone's names when they arrive and leave. She must see hundreds a day. I am impressed, but it is a thankless task- seeing lots of distraught people each day. I have seen people with suitcases piled up in front of them- scenes which have been reminiscent of a modern ''Cathy Come Home''- a wonderful film by Ken Loach (if you haven't seen it). 

So as I type, I am surrounded by boxes with no idea where I will be taking them and where we will be laying our heads, come the beginning of October. The system has no regard for peoples' wellbeing.  We have to wait it out, bidding on properties we can't get due to being in prevention and not full blown homelessness yet, and then when we leave we go into what is called 'relief'. Will we be a priority then? You'd think so, but no...Not for at least 50 odd days. So we need to stay with a friend (none of our friends have the room), go into emergency accommodation, or sleep in the car...yep this is the situation which many nice, working (I add this in case you fall victim to believing that poorer people are lazy) reliable people are finding themselves in. Maybe Maggie Smith's Miss Shepherd, had the right idea, but rather than ''The Lady in the van'', it will be 'Two Ladies, a Dog and a Cat in a Van''!

That's all from Limbo Land for now. 

Sending love to everyone out there!

Love,

A Real Northern Hermia x

 

Livin' La Vida Loca..

Come on..living la..’ Well, that’s how the last 18 months or so have felt, haven’t they?! Hopefully more normality will ensue. It needs to happen!

Apologies for the lack of blog last week. It was crazy. Away for a day or so, and then back LIVE in front of an actual IN THE FLESH audience. What a dream it was to be back on the stage and working with creative friends and colleagues once again!

So, I have gone from auditioning in smart tops while wearing my knickers (and, no, they aren’t on show,cheeky) to wearing my thicker pj bottoms, listening to the roar of the thunder while I type. It has gone from 30 degrees a few days ago, to 12 degrees now! Madness.

I had a break from work and house sorting this weekend as I went to see my parents. It was the first time I’d seen them since March which is far too long. Madam Corona has outstayed her welcome by at least 17 months..yep, yep, I know it’s been 18 months, but I’d had enough in month one! The walls were meant for climbing, weren’t they?! ;)

Ta-ta for now,

Love,

A Real Northern Hermia! x

Hello Hayley, I'm Hayley!

Yep, this is me, meeting myself coming backwards. Everything is like buses at the moment. No rest for the wicked, but I’m not complaining…yet!

A Real Northern Hermia juggling writing, other work, line learning, social things (yay, the world is opening up!), and house sorting! Mind you, my Nanna always said that me chasing my tail would keep me out of trouble. Her words, ‘’ Be careful. If you think, your mind may explode!’’ She was a cheeky one. Very strong and independent. A lady of many talents and she was super intelligent too. I just know that had she been born into my generation instead of hers, she would have had a big career! You should have seen her doing arithmetic in her 90s! I was always in awe. Maths isn’t my thing! She could even do DIY. At 4 foot 11, we used to find her balanced on one leg painting the ceiling (when she was younger) and balanced on a stool at the age of 92, taking her net curtains down as she decided that they needed a wash. She even used to sit with her legs bent to her side on the couch like a 93 year old teenager! Something I have inherited from her…no, I’m not 93, but I sit like that even in bed! My other half thinks that my body is strange and bendy! Mind you, the chiro did tell me that my right leg is shorter than my left…he showed me a photo he had taken too! So perhaps, I am 5 foot 2 but only on my left side…and 5 foot on my right! So maybe she is right..my body is strange…and perhaps lopsided? Ha ha.

Until next time,

 
A Real Northern Hermia x

A Midsummer Letch!

 A few days back I thought that I would pop for a breather among the grass and trees. Just soak in a bit of peace among the chaos of moving house. I was looking forward to listening to the birds (the feathered kind by the way) in the sunshine. Could I do that? No. Enter Mr Letch. ‘’Hello darling. Hello? Hello? Are you here to see me?’’, Letchy repeated over and over. I nearly left the little park, but then I thought, no, why should I? I opened my mouth and asked him to leave me alone. I do get absolutely sick of letchy men! And before some of you say, ‘not every man’, of course not every man but in normal pre pandemic times, there hasn’t been a day when I haven’t endured, letchy harassment and my female identifying friends say the same. I cannot remember a time that I haven’t experienced anxiety while walking home after dark, wherever I was living at the time. We, as women, were and are preconditioned to almost accept that we are not safe walking around alone, from being young girls and teenagers. I don’t know a single woman who doesn’t hold their keys in their knuckles while walking home in the evening. Even at 4pm in winter! We are over half of the population, and yet this has and is allowed to continue.

I have been kerb crawled, followed, surrounded by groups of men while walking to my bus stop at 5pm, had my boobs grabbed by randoms who just think that it is their right. I have been sexually assaulted by someone in a position of power when I was 20. I have even been beaten up and left with a broken nose because I wasn’t interested in accepting a man’s advances. A man who I would find sitting on my bed in the shared house that I was living in at the time. A man who would just walk into my room, a man who would not stop trying to touch me wherever in the house we happened to be. The latter did go to court, and I found out from someone else that a colleague of his had ripped this man’s beard off because they were sick of his lecherous ways towards their female colleagues. I have to admit to being slightly pleased about that news. Violence isn’t right, but this man had been getting away with horrendous behaviour for too long. I was 22.  And this is just a short list of what I have experienced. Anyway, I digress. Why was this allowed to happen in the first place? Why are we as a society allowing this to continue?

So there you have it. A serious blog from me this time. Hope you won’t bee too disappointed that I haven’t written in my usual tongue in cheek style!  Right, I am off to get some quotes from removal companies, and yes, I am still surrounded by boxes. How is it that two women without children, have so much stuff?!

Until next time,

A Real Northern Hermia x

Dizzy Lizzy Lets Get Busy!

How’s your week going?

We are only half way through,
and so far I have spent 12 hours going to and from West Kirby- thanks to Northern Rail and the Metro. I mean you can travel to Hong Kong in less time! What a gorgeous place though. Fell totally in love and it’s always a pleasure to visit Kate for a headshot session. On my travels, I wished for sun, and sun we were granted! Now let’s hope that marks the end of ‘Mayvember’!

I have also fallen flat onto my face while trying to open the bedroom window, almost on my bum while getting dressed doh, and... I can’t remember if I told you, but a couple of months ago, I reprised my training to be a real life Celebrant and last night marked the penultimate session which is really exciting! It is basically art meets life in my case. Ha. It will be my absolute pleasure to work with families and give them the funeral service that they want. So if anyone out there would like me to perform their service- funerals, baby naming, memorials, family services etc, you know where to come!

 A good few years back, My Dad mentioned that I would be a good Celebrant. I loved the idea and then forgot as I got busy again in the acting world. Then I was cast in Corrie in a recurring role as Hazel, the Celebrant, and my Dad’s idea popped back into my head. I have performed baby naming, weddings and a ‘comedy’ funeral so far. I love my Corrie family, but then Corona revealed her ugly head and it meant that large scenes weren’t possible for filming. I have really missed going in and working with friends.

Right, I need to get back to my juggling balls now- play reading, script writing, project prepping, baby dinosaurs... Etc. And if you can’t find me I will be under a pile of packing boxes! House moving is imminent….

See you soon!

Love,

A Real Northern Hermia x

Hectic Fever Diva!

 
Well we are still unsure as to where and when we are moving to, and I can confirm that the grass definitely isn’t greener in ‘limbo land’!

Oh, by the way, I am no longer ‘’just’’ an actor, presenter and voice-over artist, but I am a hair colourist too. Ha ha. I have wanted a balayage for a long time and spoke to my hairdresser about it. I booked a date to have my new headshots taken (more about that in a bit), but my hairdresser is now away for a while, so I took a deep breath and taking matters into my own hands, within a few hours, I had transformed my hair. I didn’t have a clue what I was doing, but after researching, I think that I managed to ‘paint’ (this is how the technique is described) my hair quite well. I’ll pop a photo lower down.

Have you watched the Davina McCall documentary called Sex, Myths and the Menopause? It’s about time that women’s health was thrust into the spotlight. I don’t know about you, but I know of so many people who have suffered after being brushed off by doctors, told that they have to go private if they want to be referred to a specialist clinic (you do NOT ..It even says this under the NICE guidelines, along with not giving out anti-depressants to treat peri and menopause symptoms as a first resort). I’ve always said that if these side effects were experienced by cis-gendered men, there would be a cure at every petrol station! I’m not at that point yet, but I always keep an eye on such things as friends are struggling and also, forewarned is forearmed as they say. However, I feel like my hormones have always ruled my life (and have been fobbed off and told it’s ‘women’s problems’, growing up). This leads me on to hectic fever diva!

As I was saying before, I booked to have my new set of actor headshots taken next week. The reason for it being next week is because this should be before we need to pack and move house, and also it should have been the week or so after my period. However, I am already a week late (before you ask, there hasn’t been an immaculate pregnancy), and last week, I was so exhausted, sickly and dizzy. Hormones are now causing hectic fever (hot and cold), hot flushes, and I am very emotional (I’d probably cry at a walkers’s crisps ad right now), cranky and worn out. Once it starts, my skin goes grey, acne thinks it’s my best mate, and my hair tends to look like it belongs on one of those long sticks at the fair (no, cheeky, not a scarecrow. Then again, maybe I could be the new Worzel Gummidge…). Still, at least I know what my new ‘casting type’ will be! Now where are all those roles for a tired, cranky, emotional, irrational, candy floss woman? Hit me up!

That’s it for now!

Love,

A Real Northern Hermia x

P.S Here is a photo of my balayage.

It's Oh So Glamorous daaaahlings!

Life is a rollercoaster just gotta ride it..yep you read correctly, I did just quote Ronan Keating!

I am halfway through a busy week…in fact I just had 45 minutes notice to film an audition and upload! Thank goodness it was for a bit of a rough and ready type of character and my unwashed hair added to it..I was able to pile it on top of my head and wear an old jumper to add to the skankiness! I just radiated glamour (scroll down for pic)!

I have been exhausted for the last week or so. I’m sure it is because we are still looking for somewhere to live, but we didn’t get locked inside any more houses though so that’s a plus! On top of this, I have been juggling various jobs, reading scripts and chasing someone who should have paid me a couple of weeks ago. Oh and finally, after 6 months, I got my hair cut!

I had my Covid jab just over a week ago and I haven’t grown a third arm! I did have trouble walking and standing from three hours after and woke in the early hours with incredible back pain. I was so sore that I couldn’t lie down. Remember to add your experiences to the ‘yellow card’. You just scan the link on the leaflet they give you.

A good few weeks back I picked up my celebrant training, so in a few weeks I shall be running free with it. Definitely a case of art emulating life, isn’t it!

The podcast that I mentioned in my first blog went out a few days ago. Listening to other women recounting their experiences of being abused by someone in a position of power, made me feel a bit numb. I knew someone who had experienced exactly the same things, even if I hadn’t myself. It’s a hard listen but I do believe an important one. It’s on The 98% website, if you can manage it. This leads me on to last week’s Corrie. If you didn’t see the episodes based around Sophie Lancaster, do catch up. Amazing writing by Ian Kershaw (Kersh), excellent acting and direction from all involved. Showing how people are targeted for looking ‘’different’’.

Lastly, remember those baby dinosaurs I mentioned last week? I have a meeting about them this week. See, I told you, it is oh so glamourous daaaahlings!

Right, I’m off. Two jobs done and I’m off to the studio now.

See you soon!

A Real Northern Hermia x

Hustle Bustle, Duracell Bunny!

'Every day I'm hustling.. (insert music) ' Yes, this is me, the Duracell Bunny, a nickname given to me by one of my best friends because, in more normal times, I run around doing a million and one things, attending countless events on top of work, while making time for friends and family. Last week I had the taste of my ‘’old life’’ back again. A crazily busy week and it was brilliant. Albeit tiring! Usually I can cope with the hustle, bustle and the juggling. Last week by Saturday, I felt like one of the zombies in Shaun of the Dead. I think it’s the trying to move house which tipped my balance. We’d seen 6 places on the Wednesday and on the Saturday, we saw another three, then I had to go to the chemist and then we’d arranged to see some friends. I felt like I was falling asleep in my seat. Our friends are not boring, may I add, but I guess that this pandemic has sucked some of my Duracell energy out of me. I need to become a rechargeable pack!  BUT that must be the light flickering at the end of the tunnel now. Surely?! I can hear it saying..well, it's more of a whisper but it's definitely there, ‘come on, we can do it..we are almost there’!

It’s midweek. And not just any old Wednesday, today has started off very interesting…in most jobs, if you got asked to engage people while making dinosaur noises, you’d probably laugh and think it was a joke.. Ha ha. But an actor says, ‘Oh yes, sounds great. Where, when and how much is the budget?’
Hashtag An actor’s life!

Have a good week!

Love,

A Real Northern Hermia! x

Spin That Hamster Wheel!

 And…The Hamster Wheel Keeps Spinning!

Thank you to those of you who have started following and reading my blog..this is only my second post and since I have published my first, I have become not just busy, but crazy busy! This Real Northern Hermia is not just juggling work and projects but also wasps nests and moving house! Or trying to anyway! The Hamster wheel does indeed keep spinning, and you know how it is, or if not you can imagine how it is, when you have little legs!

In the space of a week, we found our dream flat, we thought, jumped through hoops with references, ID, selfie photo verifications on this app and that app..all on the busiest day EVER, I hasten to add- two different jobs, test driving a car and I was back in a particular studio for the first time in over a year, but anyway, after all of that and getting references in, the following day we were told that our initial offer had been cancelled as the current tenant had decided to stay, so, deflated we were back on that hamster wheel! And how it spins!! Yesterday, we saw 6 different flats/houses and none of them screamed ‘’this is your new home’’..in fact two of them screamed, ‘’get out fast’’ not that we were able to as we actually got locked inside. Yep, you did read that correctly, LOCKED IN! So there was us..well, me, needing a leg up to get over the back gate. Like a farcical game of cops and robbers!

Now, I must follow the link for the Covid vaccine..for the umpteenth time to see whether I'm still being told to go all the way to Darwen or whether I will be allowed to utilise one of the MANY vaccination centres in Manchester…you know, where I live! #jumpsbackonthewheel..until next time!

Love,

A Real Northern Hermia x

A Real Northern Hermia, Keeping up the Spunkiness!

Well here we are, my first ever blog! I'm not sure if this will work out, but I thought someone somewhere may be interested in hearing about a real Hermia..yes, I do mean from A Midsummer Night's Dream.. Myself and a friend who is also petite and the same height as myself, have always used the slogan for our work..'though she be but little she is fierce'..so this is me, a Northern woman living in the North West, juggling various jobs, responsibilties and trying to push her career forward, while keeping up with her spunkiness. 

Recently I heard of a callout for stories about being abused by someone in a position of power, in my industry..I wrestled with this..I was 20 when someone took advantage of me, and though I had told some people over the years, and spoke about it publically when the #metoo movement kicked off, I hadn't fully revisited that ''event'' since. By revisited, I mean every single detail, the day, the time, and exactly what he did, the fact he encroached on my work two days later, coming into a room, via the only exit out of that room, and begging me not to tell the police. It took me two weeks to prepare myself, and though I had, by this time, missed the deadline, I emailed every single detail over to the organisation. I felt fine and ready to do this, but afterwards, I was sort of floating, a bit like an outer body experience? I was chuffed that I had done it, but I felt..I don't know..weird...not like myself. I guess, I could prepare myself as much as I wanted, but that writing each little detail out wasn't as ''easy'' as telling what the short version had become. That version had 20 years to get used to itself. But it's done, I offered to voice my own ''story'' too, and I have allowed myself to be proud of me. 

Love,

a Real Northern Hermia