To do what you want to do
You've got to live your life
Do what you want to do
'Cause you're free...' If I sing it loud enough, will it suddenly be true?
The other day, I shared a meme (I know, I know...) which said. "I have two moods. 1. Constant panic and worrying about every detail. 2. It is what it is". It made me chuckle. At that moment I had gone from completely stressing to "oh whatever"! The quote was from a page called 'Weird People Rock'. Is that relevant? Anyway, my head is racing round and round like a big Catherine Wheel on Bonfire Night.
Since our landlady caused such an unstable living environment by not only increasing our rent hugely, but also by being unwilling to negotiate with us as anything less wasn't "tenable" (I know), I feel like I'm becoming more weird, (by society's standards) each day. This usually extroverted woman is becoming a little more introverted with each passing day. The fighting just to get what we should have, just to get some sort of home, the injustice of it, packing boxes with no idea of where they will be unpacked, is enough to throw anyone off balance..and when you add to that the shock illness and death of my Mother in Law, plus a father in law who is in and out of hospital and the fact that our landlady is unfairly, but legally by all accounts, expecting us the pay the extra rent for the time we have left (even though she has served us a Section 21 because we couldn't afford the huge increase) it's surely enough to make anyone want to run away..fast!?!
As I sit in the early evening sun, and watch both teenagers and adults alike jumping into the quays (the canal), I can't help thinking that I've always prided myself on knowing myself quite well, and for the most part, liking myself too. I've always told those younger than me that once you get your twenties out of the way that you'll feel more comfortable in your own skin. Then, bang! Is this a passing thing? Will my brain suddenly reattach to the rest of me or will I be out at sea, sitting there, bobbing about on the rough British waters in the winter...or longer?
People ok, friends, my wife, they often ask where my head is at when I start to chat and tell them my thoughts and concerns. Apparently they can be random to them, but to me, they make perfect sense! I was also saying to someone the other day that perhaps those of us who are neurodiverse are actually typical and those who are "neuro-typical" are the neurodiverse ones? One in seven people in the UK are said to be neurodiverse. That's quite high. Maybe we are the "normal" ones? Who decided what is typical in society and what isn't typical? Maybe it was some white middle aged wealthy man who said, "I'm great, be more like me. If you aren't like me, you aren't normal!" Whatever normal is and means, anyway! Why am I wondering if I'm more weird than usual? I mean, weird people Rock, don't they? Don't they?
Until next time... Bobbing along
bobbing along on the bottom (top)
of the beautiful briny sea...
Love a Real Northern Hermia x
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