Oh, Marlene..

Marlene Dietrich said, 'I do not think we have a right to happiness. If happiness happens, say thanks'. As much as I love you, I totally disagree, sorry Marlene! 

We all deserve happiness, don't we? We weren't just put on this earth to work ourselves to death, ensuring large profits for fat cats who pay lip service when it comes to caring about our welfare!

As I write this I hear Maggie Thatcher's voice booming out with her ''children who need to be taught traditional moral values are being taught they have an inalienable right to be gay''. You were right in one thing, Thatcher, children were being ''cheated of a sound start in life- yes cheated''. You made sure of that with your homophobic Section 28. You made sure that I was a confused teenager and that this confusion went into my 20s...even late 20s... You made sure that I was so confused at not being interested in boys when the other kids would talk about who they had kissed and who they fancied. You made me hide when the first lesbian kiss was shown on TV when I was 15... Hide because I liked it and I felt shy about liking it and I didn't want my parents or friends to know, because what was this life? Was it even an ''option''? I didn't know. I couldn't comprehend it. I knew I was different to most, which is probably why I was bullied throughout school. No one talked about the prospect of gay relationships. Sex education focussed on not getting pregnant and not catching aids (the less said about the awful aids advert with the big rock, the better!) and STIs. It didn't tell us that we had the right to find true love and that love is love no matter what. 

The light didn't ping for me until I was 28, and by that time I had gone down society's expected norm and got married to a man...even though I knew, when I was walking down the aisle (and in the run up), that it wasn't right. But why wasn't it right? I continued to cause arguments just so that he would sleep in another bed to me. I didn't want to be touched by him in any way. I didn't know why. I just knew that I didn't want sex with him or even affection.  Just 6 months to a year later, I developed a crush, and although nothing happened, I am ever so grateful to her, and it was a genuine lightbulb moment. Ah-ha! That is what it is! Ok, so what to do now? I had no clue. Yes, we had the internet but it isn't like it is now (I mean Section 28 was only repealed in 2003..and we still saw headlines of the likes of ''gay judge..'' like his sexuality had anything to do with his job!). I found a site called, 'Gaydar Girls', just to chat to other women and I ordered three dvds- Sugar Rush (a whole series set in Brighton about a lesbian), Imagine Me and You, and Kissing Jessica Stein. I quickly had two dates with women lined up. I knew that I preferred older but one of them was younger and convinced me to meet her. By this time I was almost 30 and she turned out to have lied about her age and was only 24. We had a nice evening out but I told her that it wouldn't work. The day after, I had a date with a human rights lawyer; I will call her Diane for the purposes of this blog, who was 11 years older. The first date was in The Shakespeare's Head in Soho, not far from where I was working. It seemed to go very well. We agreed on a second date- a sushi restaurant in Hampstead, apparently not far from where Diane lived. This date was the total opposite of the first. She cried on my shoulder about a woman she was in love with but who was married to a man and the woman loved her but she wasn't sure what the future held etc. Then she spoke about money a lot. And for someone who was a human rights lawyer it jarred! Especially when she pointed out her little blue car later and then said, ''I have another one at home. It's a (can't remember, but a posh one)... but I don't drive it often as people stare.'' I knew then that she wasn't for me, and just add that I clearly wasn't for her as not long after the woman she was crying over, let’s call her Kate, left her husband and moved in with Diane and her daughter. 

But how did I fit into this gay and lesbian world..? When I went to a gay bar or two with one of my good (but straight) friends, I just didn't feel like I fitted. It smelled and I didn't look anything like the women in there... I joined another couple of dating sites and met a woman who became my first girlfriend. Realising you are gay later in life, for me, was like being a teenager again and I guess that I got caught up in it all that I ignored all of the red flags and ended up in a relationship with a bully- a narcissist who also became physically violent, regularly, from about 12 months in. The verbal stuff started about 6 months in. It took me till 2012 to get out of that house and that relationship. London is an expensive place and I just didn't have enough money for a month's rent in advance plus a deposit...then I got a particular job, which I say saved my life, as her violence had continued to get worse, as my first pay packet enabled me to move and rent a room in a woman's flat- even if it did take all of my pay!

I escaped that relationship largely unscathed- or so I thought, anyway. Until about a year later, having moved back up north six months after leaving her- due to my landlady turning the flat into a Chinese warehouse (that's another story!), when I had, what I later realised, was a panic attack in the middle of Home Sense in The Arndale. 

I had a lot of interest from women but I preferred to be alone for a while. I have never been one of those who have to be with someone as lovely as it is when you are with someone who truly cares. Later, I began a relationship with a friend (we had shared a kiss a few years earlier but neither of us thought the other was interested- again women and not wanting to speak up. That is another story) and by this time it was a long distance relationship due to her still being in London and then moving back to Ireland, due to her long term illness. It didn't last long as due to her debilitating illness and disability, she didn't feel she could commit to a relationship now that she couldn't really travel any more. It's all good though, after a brief fall out because she chose to email me instead of speaking to me when I had only just come back from spending a week with her, we are friends these days, once again. After this, I chose to have another break from women and dating. Then I ''saw'' someone for a few months but it was never proper, before beginning on the dating apps and meeting a myriad of strange (not in a good way) women, including one who was a scary stalker.. The whole of that year was like a comedy show. Some of the things that I could write here (another time!) would make you wonder if it was fiction! Trust me, it's all true and for an actor and a creative, it's excellent material! Dating has never been easy, of course it hasn't. I'm sure that many would agree. And now I find myself in another difficult situation, and for once in my life I am following my heart and allowing it to guide me on my next journey to happiness and contentment. I am putting myself first. So yeah, Marlene, I am afraid that I do disagree. We all have a right to experience happiness, for as long as it lasts, which we all hope will be forever. 

So there you have it. Not as light-hearted as usual, but I hope just as intriguing! 

Love a Real Northern Hermia x

Be a Tree!

I am dead on my feet from carrying my weight (yeah, I know I am only small..) and I am swaying..I am swaying.. (yeah thanks, Rod). If only drama schools taught you to tap into stress, uncertainty, instability and the potential onset of early peri menopause, they would have got the perfect looking tree from me!

And the most important thing? I would have FELT it too! Swaying. Very unsteadily in the breeze. My arms too heavy for my small frame, my head flopping like the heaviest branch high up there (oh be quiet, I know I am 5 foot 2.. but stay with me ha ha) and my legs giving way. This is what a tree must feel like when it weathers a storm! So any new actors out there, if you are asked to be a tree...speak to those going through stress, instability and peri menopause and you will crack that tree! Ok, not crack it, because unlike Ben Ashton, most of us value trees and actually like trees. You know what I mean! They absorb carbon dioxide during photosynthesis. They are useful flood defences and help to prevent a river bursting its banks. Our moths, birds, butterlfies, bats etc feed off trees and hedges which helps them to breed anbd thrive..and they boost our mental and physical wellbeing in many ways. They keep us rich in oxygen, they filter pollutants, shade us in the heat and improve our immunity. AND, they help us regulate our hormones (the less said about those the better), strenghten our curculatory and nervous systems when we breathe them in. They offer us relief from anxiety and depression...and much more. You aren't here for science lesson (see Mr Smith and Mr Bond, I did pay attention..just not to physics because that is basically maths!) so we'll stop there. Although I will say that this Northern Hermia loves to be in the woods, looking up at the trees. It's my favourite place to be after the water. The smell of the earth and crunchy leaves as you walk among them is just everything. 

You'll remmeber me 'bobbin along, bobbin along...' well, I have news, I am now sailing. I am sailing, home again, cross the sea...to be free! It's a long journey and it won't happen over night but I should be among calmer waters within the next few weeks. Just in time for me to don my tights as Dick..yep, it's almost that time again!

But until now, take care readers. 

Love, A Real Nothern Hermia x

Do the Limbo Dance!

‘Limbo cool, limbo fine

Ev’rybody gets a chance

Clap your hands it’s party time

Do the limbo dance’.

Yeah, thanks, David!

Have you ever had to hold yourself in a fixed position? An awkward position for too long and found yourself stuck? I’m not counting when we were all bendy kids, but as an adult I mean? It hurts, doesn’t it?! You can’t just jump upright. You can’t focus, you have a permanent headache, you can’t eat or drink. And you feel ‘’ready for the knackers yard’’, as our Elsie used to say! And yet when those fingers snap, we have to be ready to do a full on tap dance down the street with our heads in tact firing on all cylinders. 

Growing up, I was told to ''Be realistic''. In fact I remember the career woman who came into high school: ''What do you want to do for a career?'' Me, ''I want to act''. Her, ''You're from Preston, be realistic. What do you really want to do?'' Me, ''I just told you. I want to act''! She wasn't alone. In my experience it was usually people who, perhaps, came from a more affluent background didn't (and still don't in my experience) want us (the majority) to aspire to our goals. They (not the teachers, but those in power) want us to be their yes people. They don't want us to be able to question their motives or their answers.

But when you ''slap'' them in the face with their realistic realism, they certainly do not know what has hit them! We do. Its strength and determination. We know how to survive when the going gets tough...  ''When the going gets tough, the tough get ready''...The tough, does indeed, get going!

For any of the nay sayers who tell you that you can't follow your dreams, turn Billy up. Sing it loud and sing it proud: ''I'm gonna put this dream in motion, never let nothing stand in my way..!'' 

Love,

A Real Northern Hermia x

                                            image by: Tntisland dot com

Here Have a Carrot!

But don't get too excited..you're back to waiting again! 

I know that you have jumped through hoop after hoop for months, but you need to wait. Wait for their right arm to connect to their left arm..you could be waiting a while. There isn't a time limit. Sorry about that, but I am smiling apologetically, does that help? 

No.

'I'm spinning around, move out of my way..' I feel like Worzel Gummidge. Though I am not sure if my head can spin anymore. I'm trying to concentrate on one thing but there is always someone tapping on the other side of my head, trying to get in. Tapping, tapping away..I keep saying ''don't knock. I don't live here..well not permanently, anyway''. But the tapping will not let up. ''When will you have a home''? I DO NOT KNOW! That's it. That's done it. Phew! It's calm again.. Until five minutes later anyway..this time it's louder! Tap tap tap...tAP! Ok, here goes..

Check email regarding our home application...no reply.

Email extra information..no reply

wife emails extra information..no reply..

Someone I hardly know calls to let off steam, without asking how I am. I kind of imagine that their stress is further away from my ears than it is, and I ask how they are besides this. They promise to call in a couple of hours for a catchup.. four hours later, no catch up, but I guess they feel they've lightened their load?

Tap, tap tap tAPPPPP! 

Checks. Blank email. Wait, what does it say? Ah yes, ''welcome to Limbo Land''. Welcome?? I've been staying here for over three months. Surely you know that? But apparently it's temporary?...

Cup o'tea and slice of cake, Aunt Sally?

Love a Real Northern Hermia x

Getty Images. Mike Lawn

Spooning!

I know what you're thinking, and I love it, but I am literally talking about spoons. Like metal spoons. Of course there is such a thing as 'spooner' too. Some of those with long-term illnesses describe themselves as this, and use spoons as a way of describing how they are feeling, and or their energy levels. So, for example, they may say "I haven't many spoons today". 

But anyway , I digress. I'm talking actual spoons. The metal kind. Or forks. Those too. Oh and texture! 

Is it just me that can't eat off those really cheap type of spoons? You know the kind I mean.. where you can get a packet of four for 50 (probably a £1 now with inflation). They feel weird in my mouth. Like they make me gag and I can imagine all of the other people having eaten using the same utensil. It's weird, because if you gave me a really thick spoon (or fork) to eat with, I wouldn't have those thoughts. And the thing is, I'm not posh. I don't require diamante spoons or diamond handles and what not. I'm a simple person, ok, not simple. I'm certainly not easy (who is?), but when it comes to possessions and things that I own, I don't own anything of worth. I'm not interested at all in material wealth (in fact someone I was on a date with once, didn't like that I was an actor as money meant a lot to them. That date didn't go any further!) but when it comes to putting a spoon into my mouth, it needs fo be a decent thickness and not feel tinny. And of course, it not making me want to feel sick too, that's always a winner. The only other thing I'm not keen on, texture -wise, is plastercine... that started when I was 4 years old in reception class, but that's for another time. Spoons and plastercine. What does that say? Don't answer that! 

Until next time,

A Real Northern Hermia x

#actor #northern #uk #spooning #spoon #fun #life #hermia #midsummernightsdream #quirky

Montenegro Calling!

And, no, this isn't about Eurovision! 

From time to time..ok who (whom sounds too up it's self) am I kidding? Let's just say, regularly. Yep, that's it. I regularly have such random dreams... many are like film sets, though last night's was more like a comedy sketch! 

One of my close friends had gone to Montenegro by himself. I didn't know this until another close friend of mine, went too and also didn't tell me. I only found out after seeing photos, on her socials, of her floating in the sea in a large inflatable. 

I managed to get a cheap flight, and flew over there, by which time, my male close friend had flown home but my female friend had stayed (she is renowned for delaying her flights back when she is away...mind you, I don't blame her!). I joined her and we had such random times..including her saying, ''It's a pity so and so is married'' ( a lovely colleague). I was shocked and replied, ''Oh my God. I didn't know you fancied him!''. Her, ''Oh no. I just fancy a snog''! See, random!

On our return journey on the bus to the airport, another friend of mine was on his way home after also being in Montenegro! It's strange as neither he or my female friend a tan. It was me that was really bronzed! Hilarious for those who know me and refer to me as Casper (at least it's a friendly ghost. Could be worse!). 

The following week, I was stood outside The Lowry Theatre in Salford and Jack P Shepherd (yes, David in Corrie) came running out to greet me. He had a part time job there but had just returned from, yep you guessed it, Montenegro! His tan was dark..but then I saw it! A gooey patch at the top of his leg. It looked like treacle, but it smelt like gravy! You could actually peel it off!

A friend of mine says that it means that what is on the surface isn't real so to be aware when meeting new people. And that the people I know and love are genuine no matter what their outward persona... 

But I am choosing to believe that Montenegro is calling! 

Greetings wherever you are are,

A Real Northern Hermia x

Take Me For a Spin!

A spin. Verb-Turn or cause to turn or whirl around quickly. Noun- a brief trip in a vehicle for pleasure. Quick or brief. I am pretty sure that seven months shouldn't follow either of those words?! I mean, I love the waltzer because it spins quickly, but I love it because it doesn't last for long! And some people class their relationship as long term even if they have only been with the other person for six months!! Not exactly a spin, would you say? Then again, the U-haul thing can be common in the gay world! There's a saying  that I always loved..'here's me not able to find a matching sock, but there is she able to find her 'true match' every two months'! (sic).

If I was an alien, imagine that they definiately exist, I reckon I'd be too afraid to visit planet earth, that's for sure! Imagine looking down from above to see us all scurrying about. Scurrying..that could be another word for spin, could it? 

The other day, I recorded an audition for an animation about a dinosaur family. It was meant to be funny and ridiculous but to be honest, it wasn't that far fetched! Well, I don't think anyway. Ok, apart from the physical differences like I am not a 121 foot Patagotitan, I am a (real) Northern Hermia (short), but apart from that...! Mind you there are drawings of them by the sea, so maybe I am not that different after all! I am still bobbing around on the bottom (top) of the beautiful briny sea..the instability, housing wise, is still thus BUT my Dad has finally had the operation he had been waiting for for two years and my Father in Law no longer needs a heart operation because, apparently it has returned to normal! So that's two things.. will the third be a permanent home? And when will that come? 

Until then, 'I'm spinning around, move out of my way..'

Credit: bilimseldunya

Weird People Rock!

Dance it, dance it... 'Cause you're free

To do what you want to do

You've got to live your life

Do what you want to do

'Cause you're free...' If I sing it loud enough, will it suddenly be true?  

The other day, I shared a meme (I know, I know...) which said. "I have two moods. 1. Constant panic and worrying about every detail. 2. It is what it is". It made me chuckle. At that moment I had gone from completely stressing to "oh whatever"! The quote was from a page called 'Weird People Rock'. Is that relevant? Anyway, my head is racing round and round like a big Catherine Wheel on Bonfire Night. 

Since our landlady caused such an unstable living environment by not only increasing our rent hugely, but also by being unwilling to negotiate with us as anything less wasn't "tenable" (I know), I feel like I'm becoming more weird, (by society's standards) each day. This usually extroverted woman is becoming a little more introverted with each passing day. The fighting just to get what we should have, just to get some sort of home, the injustice of it, packing boxes with no idea of where they will be unpacked, is enough to throw anyone off balance..and when you add to that the shock illness and death of my Mother in Law, plus a father in law who is in and out of hospital and the fact that our landlady is unfairly, but legally by all accounts, expecting us the pay the extra rent for the time we have left (even though she has served us a Section 21 because we couldn't afford the huge increase) it's surely enough to make anyone want to run away..fast!?! 

As I sit in the early evening sun, and watch both teenagers and adults alike jumping into the quays (the canal), I can't help thinking that I've always prided myself on knowing myself quite well, and for the most part, liking myself too. I've always told those younger than me that once you get your twenties out of the way that you'll feel more comfortable in your own skin. Then, bang! Is this a passing thing? Will my brain suddenly reattach to the rest of me or will I be out at sea, sitting there, bobbing about on the rough British waters in the winter...or longer? 

People ok, friends, my wife, they often ask where my head is at when I start to chat and tell them my thoughts and concerns. Apparently they can be random to them, but to me, they make perfect sense! I was also saying to someone the other day that perhaps those of us who are neurodiverse are actually typical and those who are "neuro-typical" are the neurodiverse ones? One in seven people in the UK are said to be neurodiverse. That's quite high. Maybe we are the "normal" ones? Who decided what is typical in society and what isn't typical? Maybe it was some white middle aged wealthy man who said, "I'm great, be more like me. If you aren't like me, you aren't normal!" Whatever normal is and means, anyway! Why am I wondering if I'm more weird than usual? I mean, weird people Rock, don't they? Don't they? 

Until next time... Bobbing along

bobbing along on the bottom (top)

of the beautiful briny sea...

Love a Real Northern Hermia x

''Two Ladies, a Dog and a Cat in a Van''

Apparently, rocking is a sign of madness...

I am certainly overwhelmed! I am agitated and scared. And I cannot for the life of me remember even simple words half of the time, so if I stare at you for a while before replying, it isn't because you have a huge zit on your nose (I mean, you may do...moooooooollllllllllllllleeee), but because I am working hard to make the cogs turn.

What has happened to me? Instability, that's what. Like thousands and thousands of others, our rent was increased hugely and our landlady didn't want to understand, even though she admitted that we have been great tenants, and replied to us with ''anything less (than the extra) isn't tenable''. Tenable?? What the heck is that? Does she spend her time watching game shows? Tenable?? 😕 Now, I understand that mortgages are going up but I am willing to bet my favourite old cuddle teddy that she does not have a mortgage. If she does, that is because she has remortgaged to buy other properties (she owns several).

I have never been a fan of greed. Society has for a long while thought it acceptable to make a profit out of necessities. It has always made me sick to the stomach. But you know, when people are down, they are easier to control by the establishment. Anyway, I digress. Our landlady served two great tenants (her words) a Section 21 which gives us two months (6 weeks now) to leave. Rental properties in the wider area, due to a housing shortage, are way beyond our affordability so; we went to our local council. 

If you have never been to a housing department before you will find that due to the system that the officers have to follow, things like the dentist and petrol (to and from caring responsibilities) aren't deemed necessary. Initially we weren't even able to bid on social housing but a Section 21 means that we are at risk of homelessness. 

Housing associations upload their available properties to the council home site at random intervals, but I have yet to see more than six available properties on there, and out of those, only one maximum two that we are eligible for. And for another matter, most are without any photos (even of the outside) and have very little information. One property didn't even have a street name in the description! 

In my opinion, council housing officers do their best and are actually lovely, but when there are barely any houses, what are they to do? At least you feel like you are human there. One particular staff member remembers everyone's names when they arrive and leave. She must see hundreds a day. I am impressed, but it is a thankless task- seeing lots of distraught people each day. I have seen people with suitcases piled up in front of them- scenes which have been reminiscent of a modern ''Cathy Come Home''- a wonderful film by Ken Loach (if you haven't seen it). 

So as I type, I am surrounded by boxes with no idea where I will be taking them and where we will be laying our heads, come the beginning of October. The system has no regard for peoples' wellbeing.  We have to wait it out, bidding on properties we can't get due to being in prevention and not full blown homelessness yet, and then when we leave we go into what is called 'relief'. Will we be a priority then? You'd think so, but no...Not for at least 50 odd days. So we need to stay with a friend (none of our friends have the room), go into emergency accommodation, or sleep in the car...yep this is the situation which many nice, working (I add this in case you fall victim to believing that poorer people are lazy) reliable people are finding themselves in. Maybe Maggie Smith's Miss Shepherd, had the right idea, but rather than ''The Lady in the van'', it will be 'Two Ladies, a Dog and a Cat in a Van''!

That's all from Limbo Land for now. 

Sending love to everyone out there!

Love,

A Real Northern Hermia x

 

And, it's GOLD!

Getting naked, running the shower, dashing to the boiler to reboot it 6 times and then sprinting back to grab the two minutes of hot water it is kind enough to offer, is definitely an Olympic sport! Put it this way, I would have won GB at least 10 medals by now! I think my patience is medal-worthy too, the amount of times I have waited in, only for the British Gas engineer not to turn up. No message, no call..nothing. I will stick my neck out and say that if anyone other than work people was so unreliable, they would never work!

My sister got a puppy last week as her two youngest have begged her for two years. He is so cute and he fits into a mug (see below)! Cue the broodiness!

Right off I go to write the script for a weekly show before treading the boards and being back in rehearsal in person..yep, that’s right, IN PERSON! But before I go, it's a photo finish...aaaand it's GOLD for our Hermia!

Until next time!

Love A Real Northern Hermia x

Livin' La Vida Loca..

Come on..living la..’ Well, that’s how the last 18 months or so have felt, haven’t they?! Hopefully more normality will ensue. It needs to happen!

Apologies for the lack of blog last week. It was crazy. Away for a day or so, and then back LIVE in front of an actual IN THE FLESH audience. What a dream it was to be back on the stage and working with creative friends and colleagues once again!

So, I have gone from auditioning in smart tops while wearing my knickers (and, no, they aren’t on show,cheeky) to wearing my thicker pj bottoms, listening to the roar of the thunder while I type. It has gone from 30 degrees a few days ago, to 12 degrees now! Madness.

I had a break from work and house sorting this weekend as I went to see my parents. It was the first time I’d seen them since March which is far too long. Madam Corona has outstayed her welcome by at least 17 months..yep, yep, I know it’s been 18 months, but I’d had enough in month one! The walls were meant for climbing, weren’t they?! ;)

Ta-ta for now,

Love,

A Real Northern Hermia! x

Hello Hayley, I'm Hayley!

Yep, this is me, meeting myself coming backwards. Everything is like buses at the moment. No rest for the wicked, but I’m not complaining…yet!

A Real Northern Hermia juggling writing, other work, line learning, social things (yay, the world is opening up!), and house sorting! Mind you, my Nanna always said that me chasing my tail would keep me out of trouble. Her words, ‘’ Be careful. If you think, your mind may explode!’’ She was a cheeky one. Very strong and independent. A lady of many talents and she was super intelligent too. I just know that had she been born into my generation instead of hers, she would have had a big career! You should have seen her doing arithmetic in her 90s! I was always in awe. Maths isn’t my thing! She could even do DIY. At 4 foot 11, we used to find her balanced on one leg painting the ceiling (when she was younger) and balanced on a stool at the age of 92, taking her net curtains down as she decided that they needed a wash. She even used to sit with her legs bent to her side on the couch like a 93 year old teenager! Something I have inherited from her…no, I’m not 93, but I sit like that even in bed! My other half thinks that my body is strange and bendy! Mind you, the chiro did tell me that my right leg is shorter than my left…he showed me a photo he had taken too! So perhaps, I am 5 foot 2 but only on my left side…and 5 foot on my right! So maybe she is right..my body is strange…and perhaps lopsided? Ha ha.

Until next time,

 
A Real Northern Hermia x

We Are Swayin..We Are Swayin'..

Try as I might, this ickle Northern Hermia can not keep her head up. Literally swaying with tiredness .. 'we are swaying, home again..' (to the tune of We Are Sailing in case you hadn't gathered!)

I have scripts coming out of my ears which is brilliant but trying to do all of those and other work (Covid has really effected the Arts as you probably know) is very trying and tiring. Usually I can manage but I think the exhaustion from moving house is finally catching up with me! Talking of sailing, I've lost track of how many times I have been caught in a rain shower today. Makeup is running down my face and I am off to meet with a theatre company that I do play readings with. Hopefully I won't scare them off! Don't think they'll be up for a horror just yet! Ha! 

Until next time. 

Love,

A Real Northern Hermia x

Wake Me Up Before You Go Go

...Was the cry as we spent the third or fourth solid 12 hour day packing and transporting our stuff to the new house we are renting. I was literally swaying back and forth, side to side. We had had about 4 hours sleep for goodness knows how many consecutive nights running. No time to eat. Being in the kitchen with boxes towering over me while my other half transported things from other parts of the house, was definitely overwhelming. I could not move to pack more even if I tried.  I escaped upstairs and, yep you guessed it, packed something else! We grabbed whatever snack we could. The previous week, I only sat to eat my tea. It was all work, work, work, pack pack pack, audition, pack etc. This week, even this so-called Duracell Bunny is dead on her feet! I would say, ‘if I didn’t see another box in my life it would be too soon’, but I can’t because we are still absolutely surrounded by stuff. Please let me fall into a ‘Midsummer Night’s Dream’ and someone wake me up when it’s done! Ha ha. In other news, I’m off to the theatre tonight. Yep, an actual IN PERSON LIVE play! It’s been so long since us thesps have been allowed ‘’home’’.

Till next time,

A Real Northern Hermia x

A Midsummer Letch!

 A few days back I thought that I would pop for a breather among the grass and trees. Just soak in a bit of peace among the chaos of moving house. I was looking forward to listening to the birds (the feathered kind by the way) in the sunshine. Could I do that? No. Enter Mr Letch. ‘’Hello darling. Hello? Hello? Are you here to see me?’’, Letchy repeated over and over. I nearly left the little park, but then I thought, no, why should I? I opened my mouth and asked him to leave me alone. I do get absolutely sick of letchy men! And before some of you say, ‘not every man’, of course not every man but in normal pre pandemic times, there hasn’t been a day when I haven’t endured, letchy harassment and my female identifying friends say the same. I cannot remember a time that I haven’t experienced anxiety while walking home after dark, wherever I was living at the time. We, as women, were and are preconditioned to almost accept that we are not safe walking around alone, from being young girls and teenagers. I don’t know a single woman who doesn’t hold their keys in their knuckles while walking home in the evening. Even at 4pm in winter! We are over half of the population, and yet this has and is allowed to continue.

I have been kerb crawled, followed, surrounded by groups of men while walking to my bus stop at 5pm, had my boobs grabbed by randoms who just think that it is their right. I have been sexually assaulted by someone in a position of power when I was 20. I have even been beaten up and left with a broken nose because I wasn’t interested in accepting a man’s advances. A man who I would find sitting on my bed in the shared house that I was living in at the time. A man who would just walk into my room, a man who would not stop trying to touch me wherever in the house we happened to be. The latter did go to court, and I found out from someone else that a colleague of his had ripped this man’s beard off because they were sick of his lecherous ways towards their female colleagues. I have to admit to being slightly pleased about that news. Violence isn’t right, but this man had been getting away with horrendous behaviour for too long. I was 22.  And this is just a short list of what I have experienced. Anyway, I digress. Why was this allowed to happen in the first place? Why are we as a society allowing this to continue?

So there you have it. A serious blog from me this time. Hope you won’t bee too disappointed that I haven’t written in my usual tongue in cheek style!  Right, I am off to get some quotes from removal companies, and yes, I am still surrounded by boxes. How is it that two women without children, have so much stuff?!

Until next time,

A Real Northern Hermia x

It's One Big Trip, Maaaaan!

I’m so physically exhausted with house sorting ready to move that you would have thought that my brain would be too exhausted to dream, but no!

Last night’s dream involved puppies (a sandy coloured female and two black and white, in case you are interested) and a round light which looked like my ring light, but wasn’t, flashing every time the house phone rang. Asda had taken over from EE and the Wi-Fi signal boosters were no longer going to be offered but customers still had to pay the same rate. Anyway, I digress.  I seemed to be living at my parent’s (family home) but not as I know it, and spent a lot of time in the bathroom cleaning the tiny puppies. Apparently I was working as some kind of dog sitter. My current partner was with me helping to clean them. Although she seemed to think that Timotei shampoo was appropriate?? Ha ha (in reality she is a huge dog lover by the way so would never do this). I seemed to be my adult self, but my adult brother had reverted to his teenage self and had a knack for walking into the bathroom without knocking. Apparently, Mum had gone out to a union meeting and now some aliens had invaded the picket line! I mean seriously, where does my brain go?!

Is it just me or have people become moanier lately? Or maybe I am being moany myself, moaning about them being moany?! Honestly, people trying to help those who may need it, and others outside of the equation, moaning. Well as one of my favourite roles, Lisa, in Up the Bunting, would say, ‘’let it go. Let it go’’!

As I type this, for some reason I have the song, ‘’Happy’’, spinning around my mind. I haven’t listened to it or heard it for a long time. Physically, you’ll still find me under packing boxes, but as for my brain, I couldn’t tell you!

Until next time!

Love,

A Real Northern Hermia. x

P.S. Just in case you were wondering, yes, I did make that gluten free fried chicken! :) 

Here is my gluten free fried chicken! :) 

How my dream seemed!

Halo by Name, Halo by Nature!

And if you believe that, you’ll believe anything!

I have got it into my head to make gluten free style Southern Fried Chicken. Mainly because my partner is obsessed with a certain high street takeaway and because I cannot eat it due to being (sadly) gluten free!

Let me explain. We have been watching a lot of Canadian series set on horse ranches and they always seem to be eating butter milk fried chicken. Then yesterday, we spent the day sorting their hoarding hoard as I call it, and in all of the clutter was an unused ‘Halo Health Fryer’.. Unsure whether it works, but I tested the electrics and its all go! So, guess what we will be eating tonight for tea? And yes, my readers, it is tea. I am The Real Northern Hermia so it is therefore: breakfast, dinner, tea, supper!

As I type this, we have thankfully said goodbye to Mayvember and hello to June! Finally we are able to socialise a little more and for the first time in 18 months, I saw my eldest niece a few days ago! It was brilliant. Surrounded by friends, she came with my sister and my younger niece and nephew to see me at a picnic! It was absolutely brilliant! Family time at last! They say that you learn something new every day, and as I paddled with my nine year old nephew, I learnt all the countries from the smallest to the largest across the world, the population sizes too!

Right, I must go to speak to the baby dinosaurs now!

Have a sunny week!

Love, a Real Northern Hermia! x

 

Dizzy Lizzy Lets Get Busy!

How’s your week going?

We are only half way through,
and so far I have spent 12 hours going to and from West Kirby- thanks to Northern Rail and the Metro. I mean you can travel to Hong Kong in less time! What a gorgeous place though. Fell totally in love and it’s always a pleasure to visit Kate for a headshot session. On my travels, I wished for sun, and sun we were granted! Now let’s hope that marks the end of ‘Mayvember’!

I have also fallen flat onto my face while trying to open the bedroom window, almost on my bum while getting dressed doh, and... I can’t remember if I told you, but a couple of months ago, I reprised my training to be a real life Celebrant and last night marked the penultimate session which is really exciting! It is basically art meets life in my case. Ha. It will be my absolute pleasure to work with families and give them the funeral service that they want. So if anyone out there would like me to perform their service- funerals, baby naming, memorials, family services etc, you know where to come!

 A good few years back, My Dad mentioned that I would be a good Celebrant. I loved the idea and then forgot as I got busy again in the acting world. Then I was cast in Corrie in a recurring role as Hazel, the Celebrant, and my Dad’s idea popped back into my head. I have performed baby naming, weddings and a ‘comedy’ funeral so far. I love my Corrie family, but then Corona revealed her ugly head and it meant that large scenes weren’t possible for filming. I have really missed going in and working with friends.

Right, I need to get back to my juggling balls now- play reading, script writing, project prepping, baby dinosaurs... Etc. And if you can’t find me I will be under a pile of packing boxes! House moving is imminent….

See you soon!

Love,

A Real Northern Hermia x

Hectic Fever Diva!

 
Well we are still unsure as to where and when we are moving to, and I can confirm that the grass definitely isn’t greener in ‘limbo land’!

Oh, by the way, I am no longer ‘’just’’ an actor, presenter and voice-over artist, but I am a hair colourist too. Ha ha. I have wanted a balayage for a long time and spoke to my hairdresser about it. I booked a date to have my new headshots taken (more about that in a bit), but my hairdresser is now away for a while, so I took a deep breath and taking matters into my own hands, within a few hours, I had transformed my hair. I didn’t have a clue what I was doing, but after researching, I think that I managed to ‘paint’ (this is how the technique is described) my hair quite well. I’ll pop a photo lower down.

Have you watched the Davina McCall documentary called Sex, Myths and the Menopause? It’s about time that women’s health was thrust into the spotlight. I don’t know about you, but I know of so many people who have suffered after being brushed off by doctors, told that they have to go private if they want to be referred to a specialist clinic (you do NOT ..It even says this under the NICE guidelines, along with not giving out anti-depressants to treat peri and menopause symptoms as a first resort). I’ve always said that if these side effects were experienced by cis-gendered men, there would be a cure at every petrol station! I’m not at that point yet, but I always keep an eye on such things as friends are struggling and also, forewarned is forearmed as they say. However, I feel like my hormones have always ruled my life (and have been fobbed off and told it’s ‘women’s problems’, growing up). This leads me on to hectic fever diva!

As I was saying before, I booked to have my new set of actor headshots taken next week. The reason for it being next week is because this should be before we need to pack and move house, and also it should have been the week or so after my period. However, I am already a week late (before you ask, there hasn’t been an immaculate pregnancy), and last week, I was so exhausted, sickly and dizzy. Hormones are now causing hectic fever (hot and cold), hot flushes, and I am very emotional (I’d probably cry at a walkers’s crisps ad right now), cranky and worn out. Once it starts, my skin goes grey, acne thinks it’s my best mate, and my hair tends to look like it belongs on one of those long sticks at the fair (no, cheeky, not a scarecrow. Then again, maybe I could be the new Worzel Gummidge…). Still, at least I know what my new ‘casting type’ will be! Now where are all those roles for a tired, cranky, emotional, irrational, candy floss woman? Hit me up!

That’s it for now!

Love,

A Real Northern Hermia x

P.S Here is a photo of my balayage.

It's Oh So Glamorous daaaahlings!

Life is a rollercoaster just gotta ride it..yep you read correctly, I did just quote Ronan Keating!

I am halfway through a busy week…in fact I just had 45 minutes notice to film an audition and upload! Thank goodness it was for a bit of a rough and ready type of character and my unwashed hair added to it..I was able to pile it on top of my head and wear an old jumper to add to the skankiness! I just radiated glamour (scroll down for pic)!

I have been exhausted for the last week or so. I’m sure it is because we are still looking for somewhere to live, but we didn’t get locked inside any more houses though so that’s a plus! On top of this, I have been juggling various jobs, reading scripts and chasing someone who should have paid me a couple of weeks ago. Oh and finally, after 6 months, I got my hair cut!

I had my Covid jab just over a week ago and I haven’t grown a third arm! I did have trouble walking and standing from three hours after and woke in the early hours with incredible back pain. I was so sore that I couldn’t lie down. Remember to add your experiences to the ‘yellow card’. You just scan the link on the leaflet they give you.

A good few weeks back I picked up my celebrant training, so in a few weeks I shall be running free with it. Definitely a case of art emulating life, isn’t it!

The podcast that I mentioned in my first blog went out a few days ago. Listening to other women recounting their experiences of being abused by someone in a position of power, made me feel a bit numb. I knew someone who had experienced exactly the same things, even if I hadn’t myself. It’s a hard listen but I do believe an important one. It’s on The 98% website, if you can manage it. This leads me on to last week’s Corrie. If you didn’t see the episodes based around Sophie Lancaster, do catch up. Amazing writing by Ian Kershaw (Kersh), excellent acting and direction from all involved. Showing how people are targeted for looking ‘’different’’.

Lastly, remember those baby dinosaurs I mentioned last week? I have a meeting about them this week. See, I told you, it is oh so glamourous daaaahlings!

Right, I’m off. Two jobs done and I’m off to the studio now.

See you soon!

A Real Northern Hermia x